You left. You changed your number. You moved. You blocked them on everything. And they still found you.

It costs less than a dollar. It takes less than a minute. And it doesn't require any technical skill whatsoever. Anyone with your name — an ex-partner, a stalker, a stranger — can type it into a people-search website and instantly pull up your current address, phone number, email, relatives' names, previous addresses, and sometimes even a map to your front door.

This isn't hacking. It's not illegal. It's the data broker industry, and it's the single biggest threat to anyone trying to put distance between themselves and someone dangerous.

How They Find You

People-search websites like Spokeo, BeenVerified, WhitePages, Radaris, TruePeopleSearch, FastPeopleSearch, and hundreds of others aggregate public records and commercially available data into searchable profiles. They pull from voter registration, property records, utility connections, court filings, social media, and data purchased from apps and services you've used.

A single search for your name can return your current address, previous addresses going back decades, phone numbers (current and old), email addresses, names of relatives and associates, approximate age, and sometimes your employer and social media profiles.

Premium results — available for a few dollars — often include even more detailed information. One analysis found that data broker dossiers could be purchased for as little as $0.95 per record.

The most dangerous part: this information updates automatically. Move to a new address, and within weeks, your updated information flows through the pipeline — property records, utility connections, credit bureau data, mail forwarding records — and appears on these sites. Your ex doesn't need to hire a private investigator. They just need to check back.

Why Blocking and Moving Isn't Enough

Blocking someone on social media removes their access to your posts. It doesn't remove your data from the hundreds of commercial databases that anyone can search. Your data broker profile exists independently of your social media accounts.

Moving to a new address creates a temporary gap, but the data catches up. Your new utility account, voter registration, property record, or even mail forwarding request generates data that flows to aggregators. Some data brokers update records within 30 days of a move.

Changing your phone number helps if your ex only has your old number. But people-search sites often list both old and new numbers side by side, linked to your name.

The only way to actually disappear from these databases is to go through the opt-out process for each one — and then monitor them to make sure you don't get re-listed.

What an Abuser Can Do With This Information

The stakes here aren't abstract. Data broker information has been directly linked to stalking, harassment, assault, and worse.

An ex-partner with your current address can show up at your home. With your phone number, they can call, text, or use it to find your new social media accounts. With your relatives' names and addresses, they can reach out to your family or show up at places where they know you'll be.

Location data from apps makes it even worse. If your phone has apps that share location data with advertisers, that data is commercially available. During a period from 2017 to 2020, Grindr was caught selling precise user location data to ad networks — data accurate enough to pinpoint individual addresses.

Beyond people-search sites, your ex could also use reverse image search tools to find new social media accounts you've created under different names. A single photo — even one you thought was private — can be run through facial recognition tools to find matches across the internet.

How to Actually Disappear

1. Audit Your Exposure

Before you can fix the problem, you need to see it. Google your name in quotes. Search for your phone number. Search for your address. Check people-search sites directly — Spokeo, BeenVerified, WhitePages, Radaris, TruePeopleSearch, and FastPeopleSearch are a starting point, but there are hundreds more.

What you find will probably be alarming. That's normal. The important thing is knowing what's out there so you can remove it.

2. Opt Out of Data Broker Sites

Every major people-search site has an opt-out process. Some are simple (submit a form). Others require you to verify your identity, which feels counterintuitive when you're trying to hide from someone. The processes vary wildly — some take 24 hours, others take weeks.

The biggest challenge is scale. There are hundreds of these sites, and opting out of one doesn't affect the others. They all pull from different data sources and update on different timelines.

After opting out, you need to verify that your information has actually been removed. Some sites acknowledge the request and then do nothing. Others remove you and then re-list you weeks later when they re-ingest data from their sources.

3. Lock Down Your Social Media

Set every account to private. Remove your real name if possible. Remove profile photos that show your face clearly — these are searchable through reverse image search. Remove location information, employer information, and school information from your bios.

Disconnect any apps that have access to your social media accounts. Review your friend lists and remove anyone you don't trust or don't know well.

Don't tag your location in posts. Don't check in at places. Turn off the setting that lets others tag you without approval.

4. Secure Your Phone

Your phone is a tracking device. Every app with location access is potentially feeding your movements into commercial databases.

Disable location services for every app that doesn't absolutely need it. Disable your mobile advertising ID. Use a VPN. Don't connect to public Wi-Fi networks without protection.

If you're in an active stalking situation, consider whether your ex could have installed monitoring software on your phone. Stalkerware apps can track your location, read your messages, and record your calls without your knowledge. A factory reset may be necessary.

5. Check for AirTags and GPS Trackers

Physical tracking devices like Apple AirTags can be hidden in bags, cars, or personal items. iPhones will alert you if an unknown AirTag is traveling with you. Android users can download Apple's Tracker Detect app. Check your vehicle — under wheel wells, inside bumpers, in the trunk, and under seats.

6. Contact Your State's Address Confidentiality Program

Many states offer Address Confidentiality Programs (ACPs) for survivors of stalking and domestic violence. These programs provide a substitute address that appears on public records instead of your real one. Contact your state's Secretary of State office or domestic violence hotline to learn about eligibility.

7. Monitor Continuously

Removal isn't permanent. Data brokers re-acquire information over time. A single utility connection, voter registration update, or data breach can put your information back online. Monitoring your data broker presence on an ongoing basis is the only way to stay ahead of it.

You Shouldn't Have to Do This

Let's be clear: it shouldn't be your responsibility to hide from someone who is choosing to stalk or harass you. The data broker industry profits from making your personal information commercially available to anyone, and current laws provide inadequate protection for people in danger.

But until the law catches up with the technology, the reality is that protecting yourself requires proactive effort. The good news is that removing your information from commercial databases is possible — it just takes time, persistence, and ongoing monitoring.